dynamite dick
dynamite dick had a little too much too much mayonnaise
in his swiss cheese shotgun.
he went to work every day in the new moon werewolf factory
which specialized in producing mechanical men
prone to blown gasket meltdowns.
living with dynamite dick was like
eating a barbed wire sandwich
while soaking in an acid bath hot tub
during a thunderbolt crossfire.
his mouth was a non-stop blasphemy festival.
he was a walking argument with god
and his obstinance was rewarded
with numerous lightning rod enemas.
dynamite dick fell in love with a french kiss steamroller
and used his powers of hostility to turn her into an angry farm girl.
he ordered a standup fistfight
but found himself in a tunnel vision break dance
and wound up in the wish list penalty box
with a bad case of
overload hammerlocks.
dynamite dick was raised by a family of feuding tomahawks
and grew up to be an angry ax.
his childhood was a frozen tar pit full of bellowing dinosaurs
who wanted out and ate anyone who tried to lend a hand.
now dynamite dick works on his prostate scrapbook
and seeks safety in numbness.
his life was a raw deal
and he knew it
and he passed that raw deal on
to everyone he could
every chance he got.
The dynamite dick by Rick Belden, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
2 Comments Add your own
1. NEIL | April 29th, 2009 at 9:53 am
“GREW UP TO BE AN ANGRY AX” COULD HAVE COME FROM A STONE’S SONG !! LOVE IT !!
2. Rick | April 30th, 2009 at 6:59 am
Thanks, Neil. This piece, which I started writing in 1989, is one of my favorites from the outtakes project. The first “finished” version of this poem, a series of apparently random phrases of two and three words each, appeared in early drafts of the Iron Man Family Outing manuscript. I ultimately chose not to include that first version in the final manuscript for the book because it felt unfinished to me. At some point, I archived it away with the other leftovers and process materials related to the creation of the book, and it was forgotten.
I rediscovered that original, incomplete version of “dynamite dick” back in March of this year when I opened the artifacts box, and it finished writing itself soon afterwards. I guess this one just needed a little more time to pull itself together than most of its contemporaries from 1989.
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