A few months ago, my UK friend Tony Martin (@redfoxcountry on Twitter) had the brilliant idea of starting a “male wish list” on Twitter using the hashtag #malewishlist. I was so inspired by this idea, and this subject, that in addition to posting a number of #malewishlist tweets myself, I also did what I could to bring as many other male voices into the mix as possible.
The results were outstanding. It was great to see so many men sharing their most heartfelt desires in such a free and spontaneous way, and as the list grew, I felt I was beginning to see the formation of a running archive of communiqués from the deepest inner lives of men.
I was hoping the list would be ongoing, but things didn’t work out that way, and before too long the #malewishlist tweets began to subside. I was comforted, however, by the knowledge that the list built in that short time, that little archive of authentic moments in the masculine heart, would remain available for anyone who wanted to see it, any time.
What I didn’t know was that tweets posted with hashtags fall off Twitter’s search radar after ten days. As a result, the list rapidly withered away as the oldest tweets fell outside the scope of Twitter’s ten-day search window. Gradually, relentlessly, the male wish list became, once again, hidden from view and, for all practical purposes, invisible.
This was a great disappointment to me. I tried to retrieve what I could out of the Twitter memory hole, but my efforts came up short and I finally decided, very reluctantly, that it was time to let it go, thinking I’d seen the last of the male wish list.
But I was pleasantly surprised this morning to discover I was wrong about that. Peter de Kock, a friend in the Netherlands and one of the contributors to the list, has managed to compile a large number of the original tweets (some of which I’d never seen myself) and posted them on his blog at:
Wat mannen echt willen – what men really want
In addition to my great happiness at seeing this information preserved when I thought it lost, I’m also relieved, surprised, and very touched to be reminded once again that I don’t have to do everything myself. I’m so accustomed to thinking that I have no help with the things that matter most deeply to me and that if I don’t take care of them, no one will. As a matter of fact, one of my original contributions to the male wish list was this:
To know I don’t have to do it all alone.
Thank you, Peter, for showing me that I don’t.
Photo credit: David Jewell. Used by permission.
The The male wish list by Rick Belden, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Hi Rick
Peter told me he was compiling the list a while ago and wish I’d told you too
But good to know you heard it too
Steve
Hi, Steve. Yes, he’d mentioned to me that he was taking on this task, but I had no idea he’d be as successful with it as he’s been. He did an awesome job.
Hi friends, my original idea was to start a separate blog, or perhaps even an e-book, dedicated to the male wish list. I tried to find some help but did not succeed. As time went by, I felt some urge not to wait any longer and start collecting the #malewishlist tweets and to post them on my personal blog. Working through the list, I felt both happy and sad. Happy because of the beautiful and heartwarming wishes. Sad because of the gap between reality today and the wishes. Thanks a lot for your initiative to start the male wish. I believe there is some kind of magic in the tweets. I hope it will touch many hearts.
The last wish on Peter’s list of “What Men Really Want,” is, “One of the best (& easiest) ways we have to support one another as men is to offer our recognition of good words & good work.”
With that spirit in mind, blessings to you Rick for “fathering” the list into existence, and to you Peter for the wisdom to capture the male truth that sprang up out of the initial intention. It is indeed, a beautiful think. On my Man-Making Blog, I have a large and global audience, and a mission to speak about good men. I’m thinking, with your permission, I may take this idea the next step.
I will copy the submissions from Peter’s blog, edit for a little redundancy and space considerations, add your story Rick from the beginning of this thread, and publish it on the Man-Making Blog. I could link back to Peters blog for people who want to read them all.
Do you men give me your permission? Let me know at earl@man-making.com
Blessings, (and I do think you’d have a great ebook with this idea).
Earl
http://bit.ly/ManMakingBlog
I am happy for you too. It is so good to see brothers speaking out, sharing and supporting one another other. I want to hear what you have to say! Thankyou. x
Absolutely stunning response to #malewishlist Rick & I wish you the courage to be
Thanks to all for reading and for your comments. Much appreciated.
Since I published this post, #malewishlist has received some additional attention in the form of the post suggested above by Earl Hipp on his Man-Making blog (later re-posted on The Mankind Project Journal website) as well as a very enthusiastic post on the Good Men Project blog that led to a second post on that same site.
All of this subsequent activity was completely unexpected when I wrote and published this post three weeks ago. For me, it is a great validation of my long-held belief that many men are eager to open up and will share what is in their hearts quite eloquently if provided with a means to do so that feels safe, respectful, and friendly.
Pingback: Een mooie week : Zwerven door het alledaagse
What a terrific idea and great collaboration! You both must feel a great sense of accomplishment. Yeah, Peter, Yeah, Rick! It’s great when you finally realize you aren’t the only one, isn’t it?
Thanks, Brenda. I’ve found it very uplifting and encouraging to see so many men (and a few women as well) expressing themselves so clearly and openly from the heart. An all-too-rare window into positive masculinity, men’s inner lives, and the truth of male experience.
Great list!!! thanks for sharing
You bet, Frank. Glad to do it. One of these days I hope to come up with a better way to make the list more conveniently available to anyone who wants to see it.