Iron Man Family Outing still going strong at Amazon

I hadn’t checked the Amazon rankings for my first book, Iron Man Family Outing, in about six months and was pleasantly surprised this morning to discover that it’s still doing very well in terms of its placement on the various lists that track the popularity of poetry books at Amazon based on average reader reviews. Here are a few examples:

Again, these rankings are based on average reader reviews, not sales, but for a book with no publisher and no marketing that sat in my closet for fifteen years and hasn’t seen the inside of a bookstore in over twenty, it has a pretty high profile.

Having sat with the doominess of my previous post for the last several days, I’m happy to balance the scales a bit with some news of a lighter/brighter nature. Of course, light and heavy, light and dark, are not antagonistic as we often tend to think, but complementary. As lighting architect Rogier van der Heide has said, “There is no good lighting that is healthy and for our well-being without proper darkness.” We need a proper balance of both light and dark, both light and heavy, to develop and maintain a healthy psyche that perceives and relates to the world, and our experience in it, accurately.

Sitting in darkness, in heaviness, for the last few days has made me aware of light, and lightness, in my life that I’d been failing to notice previously, and that I probably would’ve continued to fail to notice otherwise. Having “the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear”, as so eloquently stated in the Tao Te Ching, can be a challenging task in a society that tends to be quick to dismiss and/or “fix” anyone who’s less than relentlessly positive at all times. But as psychotherapist Ken Page recently wrote, “The places where we feel most broken often don’t need to be fixed. What they need is to be heard.” Sometimes, I hear the voices that speak from those places best in the dark.

Iron Man Family Outing ranked 4th in American poetry books at Amazon

Iron Man Family Outing ranked 4th in American poetry at Amazon

My first book, Iron Man Family Outing, is currently ranked fourth in American poetry books at Amazon based on reader reviews. My sincere thanks to all the folks who made this possible by taking the time to share their thoughts and experiences regarding the book.

Iron Man Family Outing cracks Amazon poetry top ten

I’ve just discovered that my book, Iron Man Family Outing, is now number eight on the list of top poetry books at Amazon, as determined by reader reviews. This is a tremendous turnaround for a book that, quite literally, went absolutely nowhere for the first seventeen years of its existence. I couldn’t be happier. Being in the Amazon poetry top ten raises the profile for the book and will hopefully make it a bit more visible to those who would find it meaningful.

I’d like to take this opportunity to send out my thanks once more to everyone who’s taken the time to read the book and post a review. You’re the ones who made today’s news possible.

The complete archive of reviews for the book, at Amazon as well as from other sources, is available at http://rickbelden.com/reviews.

Iron Man Family Outing – Highlights from recent reader reviews

My book, Iron Man Family Outing, has received a number of new reader reviews at Amazon in the last several months. Here are some of the highlights:

Rick has a unique ability to capture the real, raw experience often buried deep within the male psyche. I would highly recommend this collection for anyone trying to understand more about the complex inner world of men.

- Chris Blazina, PhD, author of The Secret Lives of Men

Someone needs to tell the truth, and Rick does, as well as giving other men permission to have a voice. His poems speak the stories of millions of men, and are a tightrope between his own personal world and the dark shadow of our masculine culture.

- Kathy Barbini, founder of Big Voice Pictures and producer/director of Boys and Men Healing

Iron Man Family Outing provides context and meaning for many themes men encounter: love, sex, women, fathers, mothers, and relationships. As a budding psychotherapist interested in men’s issues, Mr. Belden’s poems have informed, amused and educated me and I hope to be a better counselor for the experience.

- Mark J. Moller

A unflinchingly raw self-portrait of IRON MAN, the armored American male, born of and into violence and abandonment … Those males of similar background (purportedly 40% of the males in the U.S. have known such violence) who read his words with open hearts, particularly aloud with other men, may experience emotional release, self-acceptance, and possible intimations of redemption and forgiveness. Through reading this book, friends and partners of IRON MEN may gain compassionate understanding of their beloved’s difficult life journey.

- Robert Leverant, MFT

This moving and courageous book has made my clients who’ve read it feel deeply understood and comforted to hear another man articulate what they themselves often cannot put into words. Rick seems to be pitch perfect in portraying the inner world of men struggling to find themselves and be authentic in the shadow of an abusive, cold or perfectionistic parent. Highly recommended.

- Alaire Lowry, PhD, ABPP

I read this book for personal growth. It helped me a lot. The stories sound so much like my stories that I could relate to the feelings expressed.

- C. Simmons

This book is twenty years ahead of its time. That is to say that, on its 20th anniversary, it is very timely today for a male gender that is starting to claim a deeper way of life. I have used this book for my own growth and in my therapy work with men who are looking to live more fully.

- Steve Milan, LCSW

The Iron Man book touches on the pure emotion of what it is to be a man. And ultimately, it touches on what it is to be truly human, warts and all. The subject matter makes clear that it is our vulnerabilities and our shortcomings that challenge us to show up bigger.

- Thomas J. Eggert, MA, LMHC

I was especially moved by Rick’s brief, hard hitting poems; specific images that cut right to the heart of what many men feel in relation to fathers, sexuality and emotional healing. Rick has tapped deeply into his creativity to bring his healing to our lives.

- Chris Frey, psychotherapist and author of Men at Work: An Action Guide to Masculine Healing

As a male psychologist in training, I found this book so enlightening and inspiring for myself, but also for my clients. The honesty, depth, and vivid ways Rick draws in his reader is astounding … I know this book has truly touched my life and I would highly recommend it to male clients, therapists working with men, parents, fathers, sons, teachers, men in general and more.

- J. Nepute

I find the poems strong, beautiful, honest, stark, essential. There are so many I like, but just read “Fused at the Wound” and was particularly struck by that. Also interesting that it transcended gender.

- Marla Estes

As a therapist who specializes in men’s issues, I have seen a number of male clients struggle to put into words how they are feeling. I have recommended this book to help them see that it is possible. Worth checking out if you have struggled yourself or know of someone who might need an shining example of a person’s ability to open up honestly about the joys and trials of life.

- Ryan McKelley, PhD

This book helped me to communicate my own feelings and experiences. Belden has put into words some things I had not been able to articulate. It has helped me reconcile some of my own past. It has helped the woman in my life understand me and men a bit better too.

- adventure guy

As a therapist I like to work with men’s issues. I now use Family Outing as an essential reading tool for self-exploration and awakening. It has been enjoyed by both the growing men I have had the honor of meeting in therapy, as well as colleagues who are open to issues specific to men.

- Curious Buddha

To see the full versions of these and other reader reviews for Iron Man Family Outing, click here. If you’ve read the book and would like to post a review, you can do so on the Iron Man Family Outing Amazon page at:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0911051562

Many thanks to all of the readers who’ve taken the time to post their comments.

Iron Man Family Outing is “a must-have text for professionals working therapeutically with men.”

My book, Iron Man Family Outing, is the subject of a very favorable new review written by Daniel S. Saland, Psy.D., and published last week on the website for the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity, Division 51 of the American Psychological Association. In the first paragraph of his review, Dr. Saland says:

This is a must-have text for professionals working therapeutically with men. It has a way of connecting to a man that has experienced interpersonal struggles with his father, with a romantic or sexual partner, or with himself.

Later in his review, Dr. Saland shares some examples of his use of material from Iron Man Family Outing in his work with clients:

As a mental health professional, I have used some of his poems as therapeutic interventions. I presented “crazy armor” to a group of young college men to illustrate the masculine metaphor of Iron Man’s armor and how it may harm men. In individual therapy, I used “body memory” to help a client connect his history of trauma with current somatic complaints.

I’m always so pleased to read or hear about therapists and counselors using material from Iron Man Family Outing in their work with men, and with women as well. I’ve felt all along that it had great potential for use in therapeutic applications, and I’m excited and encouraged to see that others are also recognizing that potential and bringing it to realization in their own work.

Dr. Saland finishes up his review with some comments about the artwork in the book:

Special recognition is warranted for the art illustrations throughout the book done by John Dolley … The artwork truly captures the emotionality of the book.

As I’ve said in the past, I can’t imagine the book without John Dolley’s artwork. It’s almost inconceivable to me now that there was ever a time when my words were standing alone without his illustrations, and I was very happy to see Dr. Saland’s comments about John’s work in his review.

You can find Dr. Saland’s full review of Iron Man Family Outing on the Division 51 “Book Reviews” page or click here to go directly to the review.

Iron Man Family Outing interior artwork is now online

Artist John Dolley’s wonderful interior illustrations for my book, Iron Man Family Outing, are now available for viewing on the “Contents” page of my website. The book is organized into seven parts, with an opening illustration for each part. The seven parts of the book, with links to the corresponding illustrations, are:

part one: life behind this mask
part two: hungry wounds
part three: dance of the unloved child
part four: iron man dreams
part five: shadowland
part six: the unclaimed soul
part seven: hints of daylight

John’s memorable artwork took the material I’d written to a whole new level I’d never anticipated. I’ve always felt extremely fortunate to have had the benefit of his contributions to the project. I can’t imagine the book without them.

IMFO 20

This week is the 20th anniversary of the publication of my book, Iron Man Family Outing. To mark the occasion, I’d like to share an excerpt from a reader review for the book that was posted on Amazon yesterday:

“This memorable and occasionally haunting book of poetry is less about art and more about sharing and integrating the experience of growing up as a man. It gives words to men that we have not had before. It is graphic and real. It doesn’t pull punches. This is not your momma’s book of poetry. But it is just what you might need if you are a man who is looking for an example of how to come alive!

“This book is twenty years ahead of its time. That is to say that, on its 20th anniversary, it is very timely today for a male gender that is starting to claim a deeper way of life. I have used this book for my own growth and in my therapy work with men who are looking to live more fully. Rick shines the light on the path. Now it is for us to walk it.”

There’s no way I can possibly express how much it means to me to see a response like this to my work, twenty years down the line. For the better part of those twenty years, the majority of the 2000 copies of Iron Man Family Outing printed in October 1990 remained packed in their original boxes, the casualties of a publication deal gone wrong, stacked like bricks in one closet after another as I moved from place to place to place.

I’d felt the work very deeply while writing Iron Man Family Outing, and my conviction that it had value for others was also deeply felt, but I could find no place for it out in the world. I felt haunted by all those boxes of unused, unread books that were always with me, and in the spring of 2006, after more than fifteen years of trying and failing to find a solution, I finally decided to scrap them. I just couldn’t bear the thought of holding on to them for the rest of my life, and then leaving it up to someone else to dispose of them after I was gone. I made them, I was responsible for them, and I honestly felt that there were no other reasonable options left, so I began the process of breaking them down, one book at a time, and recycling the paper.

I knew this task was too big, not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically, for me to take it on all at once, so I made a commitment to scrap one book a day until they were all gone. Every evening, I pulled one book out of its box in the closet, removed the front and back covers, and tore out all the pages until nothing was left but the spine. Then I tossed all of the pieces into the recycling bin.

I’m not sure how long this went on; probably for about a month or so. At some point during that time, I happened to be standing in the front yard outside my home when the biweekly recycling pickup at the curb took place. As the recycling truck drove away carrying the remains of the books I’d scrapped during the previous two weeks, I saw one of the trashmen riding in the back pick up one of the detached front covers and give it an interested look as some of the torn-out pages swirled around him in the wind. It was a surreal, painful moment for me as I watched my long-ignored work finally catching someone’s interest while its remains blew around him in circles in the back of a trash truck.

This process of scrapping books, one book a day, could have gone on for quite a long time. I was convinced that I was doing the right thing, that I was doing what was necessary to move on from what I saw as my greatest disappointment in life, and painful as it was, I had no intention of stopping. But something completely unexpected happened: I had a dream, a dream that told me, in no uncertain terms, that I should not continue to scrap the books. And so I stopped.

I didn’t know then why I was supposed to stop, but the information in the dream was completely unambiguous, so I did. Eighteen months later, to my complete surprise, Iron Man Family Outing was reborn. Looking back, I can see how absolutely fitting it was, given the genesis of the book’s development in my dreams, that it would be rescued, quite literally, by a dream. I’m just glad I was still listening after all that time.

I sometimes regret scrapping those books and wish I hadn’t had to do it, but I think it was necessary. It’s hard for me to say exactly why. The best theory I have is that I had to let go of all my prior long-held needs and expectations for the book in order for it to become what it was supposed to be, and that I had to sacrifice a little part of it to do so. I had to give up hope to make way for the truth. But even in doing that, I kept my original promise to myself to see the project through to the end, even if it meant tearing up every remaining copy myself with my own hands. I think this was the key. I gave up my hope, but I never gave up my responsibility to the work and to what I had created.

Twenty years is a long time to stick with anything. Earlier this week, a reader wrote to me and said he admired what he characterized as my “perseverance and dedication,” and that sure felt good. But I also know that there’s more to it than that. This project, this process, has always had its own schedule and its own life, and my role has always been to serve the process rather than to drive it. This is trickier than it might sound. When I forget my role in the process, when I try to put my own desires and expectations ahead of the process and the work, I’m only getting in the way and causing myself all kinds of unnecessary trouble. Letting go, being present, being patient, and waiting for direction may sound like “soft” work, but it’s some of the hardest work I know.

Hard, frustrating, disappointing, painful, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, lonely … yes, the last twenty years with Iron Man Family Outing been all of that and more, at times. But not for nothing. Every time I hear from a reader who’s found my book helpful, I feel a little freer because I know I’ve helped someone else feel a little freer. I know I’m not alone in this work, as do they. I liberate myself by helping others liberate themselves. Any sacrifice I make comes back to me a thousandfold as I see one more ugly little shard of my past transformed into something beautiful and life-affirming. That is reason enough to have hung in there with this work for the past twenty years, and to stay on the path it’s shown me, that long, crooked, and sometimes broken path, for as long as it continues to unfold before me.

Iron Man Family Outing is highest rated book about father-son relationships at Amazon

I’ve just discovered that my book, Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood, is now number one on Amazon’s list of books about father-son relationships, as determined by reader reviews. I’m amazed, honored, and very grateful to everyone who’s taken the time to read the book and post a review. I hope this additional visibility helps me bring this work to more people who can benefit from seeing it.

Iron Man Family Outing also continues to make its way up the list of top poetry books at Amazon and is currently ranked number 12, again based on reader reviews.

The complete archive of reviews for the book, at Amazon as well as from other sources, is available at http://rickbelden.com/reviews.

expanded preview page for Scapegoat’s Cross

Earlier this week, I restructured and expanded the preview page on my website for my new book, Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within. The page now includes the full table of contents for the book, along with an expanded excerpt from the introduction and the following eight previously unpublished poems:

“wild cactus dancer”
“last trip to the doll house”
“shadow world monsters”
“how far down”
“secret children”
“waterfall”
“out of body”
“the day my father died”

I hope this new preview format with additional excerpts gives everyone a better sense of the full scope of the book and the material within. The preview page for Scapegoat’s Cross is located at http://rickbelden.com/new_book.

seeking artist for Scapegoat’s Cross

I’m looking for an artist, preferably in the Austin area, to create a series of illustrations for my second book of poetry, Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within. Specifically, I need a total of seven individual illustrations, each of which will open one of the seven parts of the book. My expectation is that one of these seven illustrations will also appear on the cover of the book.

The interior of the book will be printed in black & white (no color) so I’m looking for illustrations that can be reduced to 4.5″ x 4.5″ for a 6″ x 9″ book and reproduced in halftones without losing the effect of the original artwork.

My goal is to develop artwork for the book that expresses, distills, frames, and amplifies the themes, energies, and tones present in the writing. My intention is to provide the reader with a visual context that both introduces and reinforces the material in each section.

This project will require an artist who is able to feel some resonance with the written material and is also capable of translating challenging subject matter and strong archetypal themes from the verbal to the visual, in a manner that is both subtle and powerful.

My preferred style of work for this project is collaborative. I have specific images, themes, and/or visual concepts in mind, in a very raw form, for six of the seven sections of the book, and I would expect all or most of these visual reference points to be incorporated into the finished illustrations. But I’m also looking forward to a creative process that includes input from the artist with regard to concepts and thematic visualization, and I believe that level of active participation on the part of the artist will be essential to the success of the project.

If you think this project may interest you, I encourage you to have a look at the “New Book” page on my website, where you can view the table of contents and read excerpts to get a better idea of tone, style, and themes. You might also find it useful to explore some of the other material on the site (most of which is drawn from or related to my first book) to give yourself some additional reference points.

If you think you might be a good candidate for this project, please contact me via the email address listed on my website at http://rickbelden.com/contact and let me know how I can see some samples of your work.