you can’t hold any of it.

we don’t own anything
we don’t get to keep anything
not love or money
not friends or enemies
and certainly not
time.

my life will become
someone else’s life
my memories will become
someone else’s memories
even my face will become
someone else’s face
sooner or later.

someday I’ll be a fish again
and I won’t remember
the taste of a hook in my mouth.

someday I’ll be a baby again
trying to stand for my first time
falling down and getting up
over and over til I get it right.

someday I’ll be a tree stump again
nothing left of me but my roots
watching the other trees rise and fall
slowly fading to dust and dirt.

someday an arrow will take me down
pierce my heart
empty my life
finish me
and when it does
I’ll be an arrow again
the arrow that pierces
someone else’s heart.

(PDF version)

we have everything we need to live in paradise
for everyone
but we’re eating it all up
and crapping it all out
as fast as we can
faster faster faster
more more more
hoard hoard hoard
mine mine mine
consume dispose consume
until it’s all gone
while high-def flat screen phantoms
shiny electrodistractors
and cell phone brain parasites
eat our time and our minds and our lives.

we live and die in a group trance
a mass of mass dreams
in which someone else’s dreams
are more real to us than our own
whose dream is this
whose dream do you serve
your conditioning is more than you realize.

stop
take a moment
take a breath
check your body
and ask yourself
am I awake right now
or am I dreaming someone else’s dream.

(PDF version)

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Body_is_the_Gateway.html

Two of the first and most fundamental questions to ask when seeking information from the body are:

• What am I feeling?
• Where am I feeling it?

Posing these two questions to yourself, and listening for the answers, provides a great starting point. But what then? How does one approach the resulting information and work with it? I’d like to share some thoughts and ideas from my own experience.

Everything is alive in its own way. Everything may be thought of as energy. Everyone and everything has its own life process. Respect the autonomy and the boundaries of these processes in all cases.

Let things speak for themselves, whether seeking information in the body, in waking reality, in dreams, whatever the context. Maintain an open, friendly attitude toward whoever or whatever presents itself to you. Ask questions: Who or what are you? Why are you here? What is your story, or what would you like to tell me?

When presented with pain or discomfort in the body, ask the same questions. Be still, be patient, and listen for whatever comes. It may be a word, an image, an impression, a feeling, or something else. Your body may have a story to tell you. Allow the story to come. Note any changes in the body … relaxation, movement of energy, change in breathing. Let the story unfold until it seems to be finished. Let imagination work to bring the information to full consciousness.

The body is a container, a vessel, a vehicle for the expression of energy. Sometimes energy gets stuck or trapped. This can result in physical pain, discomfort, structural problems, or illness. A story is also a container, a vessel, a vehicle for the expression of energy. Energy can be trapped in the body in the form of a story. Some stories that emerge from the body are literally true and verifiable in terms of one’s real world experience. This type of story is often referred to as a body memory. But stories that emerge from the body need not be literally true and verifiable in terms of one’s real world experience to have value.

Sometimes valid stories emerge from the body in other forms, such as fantasies, or as streams of images, words, or feelings with no clear narrative and no obvious connection to the conscious world. Some stories emerge from the body in the form of what is often called a “past life” memory. From the standpoint of using the information for insight and healing, it doesn’t matter if a fantasy or a stream of images makes sense at first, or if a “past life” memory is literally and verifiably true. What matters is whether or not the energy the story contains and expresses feels real and authentic in the body and the psyche. The metaphorical significance of the information may be evident almost immediately, or it may reveal itself gradually over time.

When working with the body, it’s very important to ask for information before trying to jump straight from “problem” to “solution” to try to make the pain or the problem go away. Explore, investigate, listen. The simple process of focusing patient, understanding attention on an area of discomfort will often affect a shift that is significant enough to transform or clear any underlying psychic issue, and clear or significantly reduce the associated pain or physical discomfort in the body as well.

Such a shift may also be accompanied by a surprising psychological insight that puts the original issue in a new, more understandable context and provides a sense of greater peace or completion in relation to that issue.

The body is the gateway to the knowledge of the soul. The physical experience of the body provides many rich opportunities for self-exploration and healing. Our stories are with us throughout our lives, wherever we go, waiting there in our bodies to be discovered, heard, acknowledged, understood, and finally, released.

tonight he dreamed of a reunion
with all of his high school peers
no one had changed too much
then he woke up
and realized
everything had changed.

while he’d been struggling with how it was
and dreaming about how it oughta be
everyone else had been getting on with it
getting married
having kids
building careers
making money
growing up.

now the arrogant aging wonder boy
looks in that yearbook in his head and sees
doctors lawyers businesspeople
bosses owners academics
masters of government and commerce
kings and queens of the corporate world
wily investors
and more millionaires than he probably realizes.

he jolts awake at four in the morning
sweating
heart pounding
no wife
no kids
rented apartment
lousy job
a few thousand in the bank
wondering if there’s still time to turn it all around
scared to death there isn’t
worried it’s already too late
worried that the same reverse jedi mind tricks that got him here
will keep him here.

so here I am at four AM
in the dead quiet of the dark
the only sound I can hear
is the ringing in my own ears
peter pan at midlife
plus a few years
wondering what the hell happened
where it all went
the former smartest guy in the room
mister know-it-all
a victim of my own inner hype
narcissistic
grandiose
egotistic
idealistic
moralistic
unrealistic
overcompensating underperforming
king of the world
(population: one)
slapped down by time
and my own inflated pretensions.

even my dreams lie to me now
no one got older
nothing has changed
plenty of time left …

wake up sleepy man
time is ticking
am I gonna get real
or
am I just gonna get old
or
is it too damn late now anyway
no matter what I do.

(PDF version)

anger leaking
venomous
blind.

broken bed
guilty feelings
lying here
paralyzed.

isolated
vacant
staring
feeling like a broken branch.

maybe I’m
a broken person
maybe I
can’t be fixed.

(PDF version)

I’ve tried for years to walk a middle path
between living and making a living
but sooner or later
in every job
I begin to lose myself in the daily stream of
phony crises and real compromises
over time
I become someone else
I change
my words
my posture
even my thoughts.

here’s a typical workday
no matter how good I’m feeling in the morning
no matter how peaceful or centered
when I sit down in that chair in my cubicle for the first time
my energy immediately plummets
my body sinks into the floor
my mind falls into work sleep
next thing I know
I’m a beast again
driving home like a crazy man
getting pissed off at everyone
everywhere
for everything
for nothing
heart like a rock
a werewolf on wheels
race home
eat pizza
watch tv
zone out
fall asleep
wake up
do it again
repeat until dead.

eventually
the part of me that’s being pushed down always fights back
one way or another
and the whole situation collapses
either from within or without
and I’m free again
for a while
until all that money I bled to make
drips away
then it’s time to find
yet another job
and spend my days in
yet another place
where my reality
what I value and know to be true for me
doesn’t seem to count for anything.

having to surrender my reality and forget who I am to survive
is exactly what I experienced as a child
it makes me feel crazy and depressed and isolated and rejected and powerless
and it is
above all else
very familiar.

(PDF version)

when I look inside I see
dresden and berlin
after the firebombs
tokyo and san francisco
after the big ones
a black and white landscape of rubble and ruin
stretching from horizon to horizon
like a nightmare scene on some faraway planet
abandoned and forgotten by god.

when I look inside I see
a teacher who doesn’t teach
an artist who creates nothing
an explorer who’s afraid to leave the house
a lover with no one to love
a healer with no one to heal
a priest without a god
a body without a soul
a blindfolded boxer lost in the woods
exhausted
throwing punches at nothing.

I came back from the dead into a life that’s not mine
I woke up in a temple that’s been destroyed
I don’t know how I got here or
what to do about it
how do I find my way out of this place
how do I remember who I am.

(PDF version)

bed blankets hide burrow

warm safe no tomorrow

dream world makes sense

even nightmares don’t last.

(PDF version)