Rick Belden - Iron Man Family Outing

Reader Reviews at Amazon USA

Iron Man Family Outing (five stars), October 11, 2011
By Vanessa Kemp

It's unusual to find a collection of poems that so eloquently describe one man's journey towards individuation. From a female therapist's perspective it feels like a porthole into the male psyche. From the darkness of 'pleasureland' to the rawness of 'fused at the wound' to the beauty of 'elephant dream' and the complexity of 'hoofbeats', this collection of poetry allows the reader the privilege of both empathy and identification.

Insightful and Courageous (five stars), October 4, 2011
By Jan Metal Man

I have now read this cover to cover about 5 times.

The power of the word captured by Rick Belden is HUGE.

His honest and upfront approach to the subject matter puts him at the top of his class.

A must read for all survivors of childhood abuse, their partners and I would also say therapists.

To read is to comprehend only some of the pain.

Please buy this book, it is more than worth the money.

Moving and powerful read! (five stars), September 18, 2011
By Steve Bevan

I had the pleasure of reading Rick's book, Iron Man Family Outing, a few years ago, when he and I connected across the sea, and it blew me away then, as it does now, with its childlike but powerful way of expressing the journey undertaken to recovery from pain.

I'm pleased to know Rick and would recommend this book to everyone who wants to try and understand the traumas of abuse and its long lasting effects.

Iron Man Family Outing (four stars), September 17, 2011
By dumphimlove

I became interested in reading this book on the recommendation of a friend and I have not been disappointed. I was profoundly affected when I began reading the poems in this anthology. The writing is so raw at times it's painful. It's like being smacked in the face! The vulnerability is palpable, the writing is beautiful. It shows the child making sense of his experience and searching for a better way. It shows what can happen when a still wounded man becomes a father. It shows the painful truth of the child lacking the support and love he needs and so richly deserves. This is a brave book of poems written by a brave man. Belden doesn't hold back his punches but just when you're reeling you begin to feel the hope of love and redemption. I heartily recommend Iron Man Family Outing.

What Lies Beneath the Armor? (five stars), July 17, 2011
By Seth T. Mullins "Song of the Twice Born" (Montpelier, VT.)

First off, let me make a confession: I oftentimes don't find poetry particularly palpable. I tend to consume it with an attitude similar to that with which I might finish all the lima beans on my plate: I figure it's good for me, so I soldier through. This book, then, was one of those rare instances where a collection of poems actually captivated me. Indeed, I very quickly became addicted to Rick Belden's unflinching honesty and courageous self-exploration. Reading his poems at once reaffirmed my own commitment to be more transparent in my writings and in my life and personal relationships.

The themes here revolve around the archetype of the Iron Man, that mysterious superhero who seems invincible and yet has, in fact, an extremely vulnerable heart. He must not leave it exposed or he will perish - or so he believes. I can't imagine that there are many men in our culture who DON'T feel some resonance with this character. The models that we receive, growing up, have so much to do with self-control, repression, protection, and denial of pain and fear.

What you will find in this collection is one man's merciless quest to dismantle that crippling programming; his hard-learned recognition that those values really don't work in the world, in the arenas of family, sexuality and relationship, work satisfaction and personal self-esteem. Once you realize that the models of the world can't save you then you are embarked upon the arduous journey of self-discovery. Iron Man Family Outing documents that journey as beautifully and honestly as anything that I have ever read.

Iron Man Family Outing-Rick Belden (five stars), July 16, 2011
By Kathleen Freeman

An outstanding contribution to the literature about abuse, masculinity & growth, identity and self. A must read for therapists, survivors and advocates. Rick has an exceptional voice, which should be heard and encouraged. Please support his work and encourage him to keep going!

Kath

Individuals create change (five stars), June 27, 2011
By therapy-space

In an era in which immediate satiation appears to be everything, poetry is a wise choice to use for a writer since it both satisfies the conscious mind while unlocking a deeper more sustaining unconscious inquiry. Having had Rick Belden's Iron Man Family Outing in and around my private psychotherapy practice for over a year, I feel he has achieved both.

The volume allows you to dip in and out, read one of the parts in a single sitting or hop at random from one page to another. Yet, however you access Belden's writing, you read the emotion and the searching conquest he has for a new masculinity. This is poetry with a brave, uncompromising voice that I want to introduce to men since it is about us all at some level. I want to introduce Iron Man Family Outing to women because it shows that men really can wrestle, think, feel, tangle and begin to untangle themselves emotionally.

I'd like to say that I enjoy Belden's writing, for surely I do, but 'plastic bones' in this volume makes me realize I need to say more than 'quick platitudes'. Iron Man Family Outing is a book that makes me read as a man. It reminds me of something very important about the process of how individuals create change and that this change can be towards a new masculinity without an iron clad exterior.

Glimpse Into Reality (five stars), January 30, 2011
By Will Meek, PhD (Portland, OR)

Like a lot of other groups in the world, men are not immune to being seen in one-dimensional and stereotypical ways. Current psychological research is filled with proof that men are not just "iron men" walking around taking whatever they want and brutalizing the world. The real life of males can be complex, deep, and often confusing and filled with contradiction. This book captures the spirit of that living in a way that few others I have come across can. Here you do not find simplistic, superficial masculinity. Instead you find depth, truth, and honesty. Very well done.

Brutally Beautiful (five stars), January 25, 2011

Let me qualify this review by admitting that I know exactly nothing about reading, appreciating or critiquing poetry. I know a little about the psychology of men and masculinity, and I know a bit more about what moves me. To that end, I do not know if Belden's poetry is technically "correct" in meter or verse or whatever. What I do know is that reading Iron Man Family Outing affected my entire physiology. His writing is simultaneously brutal and honest; and beautiful. Initially, I attributed my reaction to this work to the fact that Belden and I seem to share very similar personal histories, but mid-way through the book I had an insight: Perhaps these poems tap experiences, perspectives and feelings common among men (in our culture, at least). Belden does, with pinpoint accuracy, expose men's struggles, their dark sides, their desires to be better - better than what is inconsequential - just better, their failings, their judgments and so on. This book is a MUST READ for any person studying masculinity, any person who is a man, any person who knows a man. It is brutally beautiful. Thank you, Rick.

Iron Man (five stars), January 18, 2011

By Chris Blazina Ph.D.

Rick has a unique ability to capture the real, raw experience often buried deep within the male psyche. I would highly recommend this collection for anyone trying to understand more about the complex inner world of men.

Chris Blazina Ph.D.
Author of "The Secret Lives of Men"

Iron Man Family Outing (five stars), January 17, 2011
By Big Voice Pictures

Many boys growing up in abusive and dysfunctional homes create protective shields around their tender and vulnerable bodies, emotions and souls. They grow into men shielded by false personas, protective masks, or bury themselves in alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography and failed relationships. For many, the process of reclaiming the traumatized boy, grabbing his small hand and pulling him through subsequent car wreckages of his life to the surface, takes tremendous courage, support, years and skill. Rick Belden does so through the writing of raw, poignant and bold poems in his Iron Man Family Outing, Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood.

The title of the book originates from images and dreams of his childhood super comic book hero, Iron Man, "who wears a protective suit of armor with an electrically powered chest plate that keeps his damaged heart beating". Children are uncanny in their ability to create fantasy friends in order to escape the madness of dysfunctional homes and distant or abusive parents. Iron Man is a familiar image of a stereotypical masculinity that Rick Belden succeeds to confront in his powerfully descriptive book, an emotional and rocky journey through the terrain of his boyhood and broken manhood.

Iron Man Family Outing delves behind closed doors where vivid shards of memories are shattered like glass across the landscape of his life. Here we enter into the tender feelings of an innocent boy who yearns for his distant and emotionally abusive daddy to love him, and growing into a tattered man still yearning for this love.

I love him
I need him
I hate him
I miss him

These conflicted feelings easily turn into a battleground within.

there's a civil war inside me
father against son
son against father
blood on the family tree

Yet, a rare and fond memory emerges in another poem of his father making paper mache penguins with him for a school project. When he gives these to his mother for safekeeping and she later throws them away, his painful yearning bursts forth.

I never saw them again
don't even have a picture
except the blurry one in my head
I sure wish she had let me say goodbye to them

By going back into the cellars of his childhood memories, we find buckets full of tears and brilliant descriptions of basic childish needs-- a little boy who ached so much to be loved that he hung to the crumbs of his father's attention as if they were rare gems.

what's the half-life of a lousy childhood?
stranglehold tentacles
come out of a house where
nobody I know lives anymore

Iron Man reminds us that truth is never clean, white and glowing. Loneliness, fear, rage, hate, desire, pain release, messed up relationships loom. Often truth is sad, aching, ugly, messy, gross, disturbing, and dark sometimes with evil lurking, with little boys hiding in musty, smelly cellars of confusing emotions, and men turning toward the raunchy. Rick doesn't spare us. And this is what makes his poetry most compelling. Yet, this raw truth also weaves through dark alleys of recovery to streets where men can reclaim their voices. Yes, in Rick's poems go to the empty depths where a soul cries from hell for a glimpse of sanity, yet the expression of his words are the life rafts he holds onto. I hung on with him, knowing raw descriptions ravaging through the junk yard of his life, would finally get him through to an island in his soul where perhaps he might find the little innocent boy he once was, or become a new creation.

Iron Man has glimpses reminiscent of the beat poetry with its uncensored, non-conformist expression and writing.

What author and poet John Clellon Holmes once said about beat poetry, Rick's writing fits his description: "It involves a sort of nakedness of mind, and, ultimately, of soul; a feeling of being reduced to the bedrock of consciousness. In short, it means being dramatically pushed up against the wall of oneself."

Like the beat poets of earlier generations, Rick is unabashed in his escapades into the dark world of sexuality, pornography, drinking and raw emotion, and unashamed to admit these were realities of his life and perhaps part of what made him who he is today. He takes us through the dark and detailed streets of this distorted manhood where sex, drinking, and drugs come alive like R and even X rated movies, but seems to leave each poem with a stale sadness and emptiness all too familiar to so many men in our communities and families. The self-awareness of the emptiness in these escapades is in itself a signpost to self-transformation.

It's clear he's not writing about these dark issues to entertain, exploit, or shock. He's writing them because they were products of a being unloved in a twisted dysfunctional childhood, and he's writing to bring them into consciousness; the writing itself the process that put pieces of himself back together again. His poetry feels like dysfunction leaving his body, setting free a young boy from the Iron Man. Therefore, in this sense, some of his writing shouldn't be shocking. Someone needs to tell the truth, and Rick does, as well as giving other men permission to have a voice. His poems speak the stories of millions of men, and are a tightrope between his own personal world and the dark shadow of our masculine culture.

Rick's book is a refreshing reminder that creativity is a healing force that sometimes requires going into these hard places, telling our secrets, and giving the broken child and human being within us a voice. In turn, this kind of expression reshapes many into more whole and healthy individuals. As the title says, this book is A Transition to a More Conscious Manhood. Rick can inspire us to look more truthfully at our own dark cobwebbed corners of our own lives.

I did what the man suggested
I went deep into the wound
I hitched a ride on the pain express
through the tunnels in my chest
into that hairy heart of darkness
everyone's always yapping about
and I lived to tell about it

Moreover, light does indeed shine through as the poetry loosening the hold on his soul, allowing the mask of the Iron Man to fall.

when I breathe I feel
the screws in my chest beginning to loosen
+ the life I've known for so long
coming to an end

And somehow, in another poem his world opens wide.

I lay down my axes
and let go the clouds.
I dance with the wind
and sing with the rain

In a touching poem, the innocent boy behind the Iron Man emerges:

I wait for tears to come gently
like soft spring rain
tears that will fall like diamonds
from the sky
wise little pearls

Kathy
Big Voice Pictures

Insightful portrait of a modern American male (four stars), December 2, 2010

By Mark J. Moller

Rick Belden's "Iron Man Family Outing" is an insightful and often searing portrait of a modern American male through unique and deeply personal poetry. "Iron Man Family Outing" provides context and meaning for many themes men encounter: love, sex, women, fathers, mothers, and relationships. As a budding psychotherapist interested in men's issues, Mr. Belden's poems have informed, amused and educated me and I hope to be a better counselor for the experience.

Random thoughts on a few of the poems: "Penguins," is a simple yet poignant anecdote which provides real insight for mothers and sons; "Pleasureland," is a raw and very real look at pornography and the ongoing tug of war for men between the intellectual vs. the animal and the logical/rational/mature vs. arousal; "Alone with Her," is a fascinating vignette illustrating the safety of the company of men vs. the fear inducing experience of being alone - and possibly vulnerable - with a woman.

I thoroughly enjoyed "Iron Man Family Outing" and I highly recommend purchasing it today.

An Unflinchingly Raw Portrait of Iron Man (five stars), November 18, 2010
By Robert Leverant

An unflinchingly raw self-portrait of IRON MAN, the armored American male, born of and into violence and abandonment. Beldens longings and pain are expressed in a prose poetry offering. Those males of similar background (purportedly 40% of the males in the U.S. have known such violence) who read his words with open hearts, particularly aloud with other men, may experience emotional release, self-acceptance, and possible intimations of redemption and forgiveness.

Through reading this book, friends and partners of IRON MEN may gain compassionate understanding of their beloved's difficult life journey.

You Are Not Alone (five stars), November 15, 2010
By Alaire Lowry

This moving and courageous book has made my clients who've read it feel deeply understood and comforted to hear another man articulate what they themselves often cannot put into words. Rick seems to be pitch perfect in portraying the inner world of men struggling to find themselves and be authentic in the shadow of an abusive, cold or perfectionistic parent. Highly recommended.

Alaire Lowry, PhD, ABPP

Frank, fun stories that reek of true feelings (five stars), November 12, 2010
By C. Simmons "Steamroller"

I read this book for personal growth. It helped me a lot. The stories sound so much like my stories that I could relate to the feelings expressed. I laughed out loud several times and was touched deeply at other times. This is a good read for a man of any age dealing with the complexities of living fully as a man in our current age of "enlightenment".

Real, Raw and Inspiring (five stars), October 28, 2010
By Sam "Ultimate Man"

This memorable and occasionally haunting book of poetry is less about art and more about sharing and integrating the experience of growing up as a man. It gives words to men that we have not had before. It is graphic and real. It doesn't pull punches. This is not your momma's book of poetry. But it is just what you might need if you are a man who is looking for an example of how to come alive!

This book is twenty years ahead of its time. That is to say that, on its 20th anniversary, it is very timely today for a male gender that is starting to claim a deeper way of life. I have used this book for my own growth and in my therapy work with men who are looking to live more fully. Rick shines the light on the path. Now it is for us to walk it.

Thank you, Rick.

Raw and real (five stars), October 20, 2010
By Thomas J. Eggert

The Iron Man book touches on the pure emotion of what it is to be a man. And ultimately, it touches on what it is to be truly human, warts and all. The subject matter makes clear that it is our vulnerabilities and our shortcomings that challenge us to show up bigger. I really appreciate Rick's willingness to bring all of his life experience. I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to go deep and come willing.

Powerful images for men (four stars), October 20, 2010
By Chris Frey

I was especially moved by Rick's brief, hard hitting poems; specific images that cut right to the heart of what many men feel in relation to fathers, sexuality and emotional healing. Rick has tapped deeply into his creativity to bring his healing to our lives.

Chris Frey, author of Men at Work: An Action Guide to Masculine Healing and the upcoming I'm Sorry, It's Cancer: A Handbook of Help and Hope.

An honest look at manhood (five stars), October 4, 2010
By J. Nepute

How many men grew up with a father encased in armor, hurt by the difficult relationship with their fathers? As a male Psychologist in training, I found this book so enlightening and inspiring for myself, but also for my clients. The honesty, depth, and vivid ways Rick draws in his reader is astounding. Excerpts such as "romance death rattle" and "fused at the wound" echo the confusion, feelings of dependence, childhood hurts, and feeling "broken" that many men from hurt backgrounds experience.

This provides a welcomed voice in the literature on men's struggles with being more open, with worrying about how to be a man, how to relate to men, to women, to engage in deeper more authentic experiences. It serves as a role-model for men about how to courageously own one's pain, not hide from it. To break free of the cycle where men learn and teach other men to bury their pain and instead help them seek to be more. To be able to be "tough," but be able to be more than just tough.

The poetry within shows that men can talk about their pain in a variety of ways. It provides a model of a powerful, yet unique voice as seen by a quote even from the introduction- "I've actively chosen not to censor myself or apologize in advance for what I've written. I need to reveal myself as fully as possible and take the risk of being rejected for what I've tried to hide for so long. I hope I can do this without harming or alienating others. I need to share all my feelings in order to change, heal old wounds, and grow into a complete person."

I know this book has truly touched my life and I would highly recommend it to male clients, therapists working with men, parents, fathers, sons, teachers, men in general and more. I hope that others who read this are encouraged to read more deeply in this great work to allow themselves to embrace their worries about not connecting to others, not being accepted, being lonely, or being rejected in ways they may have never given themselves the chance to fully experience.

Strong, beautiful, honest (five stars), October 1, 2010

By Marla Estes

I find the poems strong, beautiful, honest, stark, essential. There are so many I like, but just read "Fused at the Wound" and was particularly struck by that. Also interesting that it transcended gender.

Shining example of man's ability for honest and open expression (four stars), September 27, 2010
By R. McKelley

It's not uncommon to hear that some men have difficulty expressing their emotions and being emotionally vulnerable in the presence of others. Rick Belden's collection of poetry shows us that is not the case for every man. He covers the big life questions and topics like religion ("god at eleven"), complex relationship with father ("dad i got"), work and career ("ibm" and "red meat head games"), intimacy in romantic relationships ("romance death rattle"), friendship ("fever wheels"), grief ("close to it"), and childhood abuse ("body memory"). Belden tackles additional topics with a great deal of passion and brutal honesty. The poems paint a vivid and often heart-wrenching picture of a man's struggle to make sense of some very difficult life experiences as he works toward self-understanding.

As a therapist who specializes in men's issues, I have seen a number of male clients struggle to put into words how they are feeling. I have recommended this book to help them see that it is possible. Worth checking out if you have struggled yourself or know of someone who might need an shining example of a person's ability to open up honestly about the joys and trials of life.

unvarnished (five stars), September 3, 2010

By adventure guy

Someone else read one of Rick's poems to me and suggested I might like this collection. This sort of raw talk and courageous vulnerability earns my respect. This book helped me to communicate my own feeling and experiences. Belden has put into words some things I had not been able to articulate. It has helped me reconcile some of my own past. It has helped the woman in my life understand me and men a bit better too.

The Secret is Out (five stars), August 27, 2010
By Curious Buddha

So many times in my life I have looked for words to explain what was happening and found none. I did not think the words even existed. Nobody could explain what all this madness was, and more importantly, what it meant.

But Rick could. And Rick did.

Iron Man Family Outing has awakened me to new forms of consciousness I did not think were possible. The man's mantra of "do and don't think/feel" had ruled my life for years until Rick found a way with his poetry to say the things I could not or dare not say. Family Outing leaves no stone (or armor, as it were) unturned as Belden explores the hurts passed down by our forefathers, the way we as men perpetuate unhealthy patterns, and the pieces of our identity we struggle to synthesize. The poems are grounded. The writing is accessible. The feelings are raw. The breadth of the subject matter can leave you solemn or winded. Either way you can't help but be thankful.

As a therapist I like to work with men's issues. I now use Family Outing as an essential reading tool for self-exploration and awakening. It has been enjoyed by both the growing men I have had the honor of meeting in therapy, as well as colleagues whom are open to issues specific to men. If you want to know more about the internal workings of the mythical man, if you want to understand what it's like to be a man in a modern age, if you just want to get a new/raw/honest perspective on the life we all share on this planet, you MUST read this book.

Devastatingly raw (four stars), March 19, 2010
By Andrew "AndrewGubb dot Com" (Spain)

I felt a strong companionship with Rick all through this book. It's a book of facing up to what you'd rather keep buried, of brutal honesty, humanity, and of healing.

A real inspiration to anyone who is on a journey inside of themselves to finally get to a place of real happiness after all these years of pain - when we finally realise we're not going to let the pain keep perpetuating itself anymore.

I admire Rick's bravery in both his journey and in sharing this - the rawest, most bloody self-exposition I've ever read - and I feel some of that bravery and strength has been passed on to me.

The power to be vulnerable - I think this is what you call a "real man".

Damn good book. Damn real book. Love it.

Andrew

P.S. I reserve 5 stars for eternal classics like "Hamlet" by William Shakespeare or "Conversations With God" by Neile Walsh, 4 stars means "very good" :)

Iron Man Family Outing provides bold, insightful view (five stars), November 15, 2009
By Ivan Skolnikoff

I am a psychotherapist in private practice in Berkley, California. I read Iron Man Family Outing and was deeply inspired by Rick Belden's use of words to capture emotions and experiences that are so often taboo for men to talk about in our society. Many of my clients, who have had similar experiences to Mr. Belden, feel quite alone in the world and doubtful that anyone understands their experiences. They are more likely to isolate to protect their vulnerability and fear that their feelings and experiences will be judged and discounted. I shared Mr. Belden's book with a few of these select clients. We read together the passages that they seemed to connect with most deeply and they talked about how this process helped them feel less alone in the world. A number of them also said they felt inspired by the boldness of Mr. Belden's writing, and said reading the book encouraged them to find ways to work with their own painful experiences in more creative ways.

Raw, Authentic and Highly Emotive (five stars), June 22, 2009
By Jason Fierstein

Rick Belden's book of poems really struck a chord with me. He says the things guys are semi-conscious of, and then proceeds to really sink into the heart of the unsaid feelings. Rick's use of metaphor is spot-on - he electrically charges his poems to communicate the experiences all men have in their sexual experiences, family of origin experiences, and interpersonal relationships.

He is the voice many men would wish that they could have - if they weren't avoiding it or stuffing it to deal with later. His poems are very transformational, and really gives a voice to the modern male experience - one which is frequently (and unfortunately) not discussed as it is in Rick's "Iron Man Family Outing." Great job, Rick, and thanks for the work that you do, from this man and for others.

Facing It (five stars), June 7, 2009

By J. Kammer (Halethorpe, MD USA)

One of the main problems many of us men face is that we think our saddest, most difficult, most problematic thoughts are "personal problems." After all, a man can take care of his business and can always solve his problems. If he can't, he knows, he risks being disrespected and discarded -- by women and men alike. So the very things for which we need the most companionship and validation are the things which we most hide, deny and rationalize.

Rick Belden makes it unmistakably clear that any man who sometimes feels alienated from his best hopes and from his own, best, most cherished view of himself is most decidedly not alone. A truly courageous man, he has stepped forward saying, "Okay, I'll go first."

Kudos for "iron men" (four stars), April 23, 2009

By Edward Leclaire "sean casey leclaire" (Boston)

Belden explores the shadow side of the male journey and his "poetic cry" comes at a wonderful time, as millions of men find themselves without work ... the opportunity to face themselves with courage and decency, which Rick's poems do, is most timely. "Iron Man Family Outing" is for real men, fully engaged in the piss and vinegar and joy of life!

Iron Man Family Outing: A Journey of Redemption (five stars), April 22, 2009
By Martin H. Srajek

What might it take for a man to transition into real manhood? What is real manhood? Is such a transition even necessary? In his highly personal and therefore highly engaging volume of poetry Rick Belden demonstrates how such a transition might take place. Using his own childhood hero, Iron Man, as a metaphor, Mr. Belden leads the reader through a virtual jungle of male feelings, experiences and thoughts on just what it might mean to be and to become a man. Mr. Belden's approach is brilliantly simple: Remember your childhood hero, understand his function for you throughout your childhood and adolescence and ask yourself these questions: "In how far is this hero still active in your life as a grown man? How is he aiding/complicating your journey towards being a man?"

It is impossible in this review to do justice to the richly layered themes that run through this book and the poems it contains. It should be said, however, that the book itself is written as a journey of redemption, from the experiences of a little boy who desperately needed Iron Man, both as a protector and goal towards which to work, to a life in which the mask and armor of Iron Man are no longer needed by the man himself. He is now free to be himself. Because the book is written as such a journey it is necessary that one reads it from cover to cover (rather than picking a poem here and there). Every poem is a further step in the development towards redemption as Mr. Belden envisions and experienced it.

As this journey progresses, Mr. Belden allows us insights into his boyhood and adulthood fantasies, dreams and fears. Yet, in so doing he reminds the reader of the archetypal and therefore shared nature of the themes he touches. Every man partakes in these themes. From the fears of the little boy (little Iron Man, god at eleven) through thoughts about his father (dad I got), the vast meaning of sex and sexuality in his life (pleasureland, black noise), the yearning for maternal and paternal love (mother junkie, real father), into a zone of transition and pain (fever wheels), followed by a gradual separation from Iron Man (disconnected) and a slowly progressing actualization of the real man behind the mask who no longer needs to hide his feelings (difficult, wounded man detection device) this volume maps out a path towards conscious manhood.

Mr. Belden's "Iron Man Family Outing: poems about transition into a more conscious manhood" delivers powerful testimony to the need for transformation and redefinition of masculinity. However, contrary to how such redefinition might have taken place in the past, Mr. Belden does not rely on denial. Rather, he lets the man speak fully through his fantasies, fears and obsessions in order to move towards a new transformative synthesis. I highly recommend this book to any man who is in the process of engaging with his own transformation and to any woman who might be interested in learning more about the internal dimensions of the male psyche.

In the basket for the men's retreat (five stars), March 16, 2009
ByGraeme Daniels (Pleasant Hill, Ca.)

Recently I was perusing my collection to see what I'd take to a men's retreat. I was reminded of Rick's book, which I'd owned for about a year: 'The Iron Man Family Outing' had struck me as such a fierce, agonized, yet loving self-examination. Belden's poetry was at turns raw and obscure, begging thoughtfulness even as it slapped you between the eyes. There are over a hundred offerings here. The style is sometimes terse and explicit; elsewhere it is wistful and elaborate. Altogether, a bravely written collection that delivers what its subtitle promises: an exploration into conscious manhood. From 'hooked' we are introduced to the poet's shadowy fear of women; it feels like an invitation. From 'Another fact of life' we gather that elders (fathers)have been absent, literally and figuratively; that they might have helped us more. 'Self-defense' is a poem of ambivalence: the fear of being seen, and then--upon being seen--of not being understood fully. 'Harpies' finishes with a complaint about intrusive women. It's actually an appeal to the concerned feminine to let men sort things out between them. 'Acceptance' and 'Listen' close the work with succinct statements as to the importance of presence, determination, and hope.

Excellent book for men or women (five stars), March 12, 2009
By T. Golden (Gaithersburg, MD United States)

Belden's Iron Man Family Outing is a captivating and useful collection of poems. The poems are engaging and fascinating in their portrayal of Belden's inner world illuminated through the Iron Man stories. The poems, on their own, make this book a worthy read but perhaps more importantly the book offers a very intimate look into Beldens process and struggles and one gets a clear sense that his creativity is vitally connected to his insight and his healing. This is, of course, a very common strategy for men but is rarely seen and all too often misunderstood since most men don't talk much about it. I would recommend reading this book for both men and women. The women would enjoy the poems but also could get a sense of a masculine style of healing through creativity which might help them understand the men they love. The men would also enjoy the poems but could additionally use the book to hone their own healing path.

Highly recommended

A MUST READ! (five stars), February 15, 2009
By Chad J. Medlin "LMFT"

As a male therapist working with male survivors this book touched me. Rick Belden managed to speak in language a man can understand but, more importantly, feel. As a survivor I felt his words in my heart. I've lost count of how many times I've reread parts or all of this amazing book. I want to use it as a handout for my clients who are afraid to let themselves feel.

An Excellent Resource for Men's Groups (five stars), February 14, 2009

By Michael LeFevre "Graduate Student in Psychotherapy" (Boulder, CO United States)

I discovered Iron Man Family Outing when it was introduced in my weekly men's group. We were each given a copy of the book, and the facilitator read a few of his favorites aloud. The words were moving and vulnerable, and in that session we were all very tapped into ourselves. Rick has the courage of a warrior to share his stories with the world, and I know he was an inspiration to me and my group. Since then, I have shared the book with another men's group, read some of his work at an open mic night, and often return to it when I want to be inspired. This is a great collection, and I hope one day to use it when I lead my own groups.

gripping (five stars), January 26, 2009
By B. A. Wellman (N Central Mass.)

Iron Man was gripping and although I just thought I'd read a little and get back to it, I was drawn to finish it after reading a few pages. Having lived this life, I was amazed how Mr. Belden wrote my life to paper. Very moving and a window to a world many do not know exist and those of us that do, often keep it a secret! Nice Job Rick!

Words are the Rope to the Life Ring (five stars), December 13, 2008
By Lawrence Winters (USA)

Rick's poems and insights are what has saved his life. The intimate fiber of his being has been offered the reader as hope for recovery as transformation from victim to survivor. Hold it with honor; there are few with the guts to tell this necessary truth.

Larry Winters, Author of THE MAKING AND UNMAKING OF A MARINE

Thanks for your book (five stars), November 16, 2008
By Joseph Jastrab

Thanks for your book. Very raw and honest writing. I recommend it to male clients who are looking to get real with the grief, turmoil and longing beneath the surface of their lives... things that your poems speak so forcefully about.

Emotional healing; not just psychological understanding (five stars), September 23, 2008
By Bret Stephenson (South Lake Tahoe, CA USA)

Keith Thompson, editor of To Be a Man: In Search of the Deep Masculine, asked me in the mid 1990's where I thought the Men's Movement had ended. Up to my ears in running men's groups, I felt slighted that someone so "in the know" would feel this way. But as I pondered this comment and watched the men I was working with over a period of time, I came to understand what he meant. Men, it seemed to me, liked figuring out the psychology of what makes us the way we are. But when it came to healing our wounds, that's an emotional issue many men are still unable or unwilling to dive into. Rick Belden jumps with both feet into the male emotional pool, baring his soul and path as he, like so many of us, tries to come to grips with who we are and how we are programmed. Iron Man Family Outing helps men show that it is not impossible to tap into our emotional resources, and while it may not be pretty, it is critical we do so. Thanks to Rick for being so bold....

A Rare and Effective Account (five stars), September 22, 2008
By Marsha McDonough

If you are a male survivor of childhood abuse or in conversation with survivors, buy this book. This book is a brave account of resistance and refusal to surrender to cruelty. It answers a question that is often neglected in the victim literature: What are the ways in which you stood up to oppression and struggled to hold on to the truth?

Rick Belden's poetry is his liberation, but his triumph is hardly bloodless. Expect to be enraged and demoralized as well as empowered and filled with hope by his honesty. The author reached very fully and deeply into his experience to construct one of the most complex and effective descriptions of child abuse survival in print.

Marsha McDonough, Psychologist, Austin, Texas

What an incredibly moving book (five stars), September 22, 2008
By Don R. (Texas)

I don't read much but this is a book that I can't put down. Throughout my journey in life, often times I've felt alone. As a man in his mid-thirties, it often seems that no one is eager to empathize with your struggles in life. Often times, I find myself in a sad place where I feel uncared for and misunderstood.

This book is a real eye opener. It's very rare to find someone like Rick who can articulate his emotion in such a way that it really moves you. Like many of the other reviewers have stated, be prepared. I don't allow myself to "feel" much, but as I read along with the "Iron Man" I can feel myself opening up to someone who is showing empathy for themselves, and in a way, for me.

To say I was able to identify with this book is an understatement. I feel as though I do the book a disservice by calling it a "tool" in my therapeutic arsenal, but that's the best way to describe it. The collection of poems is such an easy read -- read one and you will be immediately absorbed to where you can't put it down. Whenever I'm feeling low, and feel that no one empathizes with me, I pick up the "Iron Man" and realize that my struggles aren't always unique, and that I'm not alone in how I feel.

This book sits in the top drawer of my desk, there whenever I need it.

Thanks Rick.

A Powerful Expos (five stars), July 8, 2008
By S. Gold

This volume of poetry is nothing less than an express route to a powerful experiential understanding of a large sector of men - especially white men who grew up in "mainstream," "conventional," "middle class" families in the U.S. It is a courageous expos, revealing the eerie reality lurking beneath what routinely passes for normality in contemporary Western society.

added to my own book (five stars), June 11, 2008
By Patricia A. Ariadne PhD "psychotherapist, author" (Carlsbad, CA)

Rick's book made such an impact on me that I asked him if I could use some of his poems to tell his story in my own book, Drinking the Dragon: Stories of the Dark Nights of Soul. I was especially glad to find him, since it has not been as easy to find males as it has females to discuss their vulnerability and despair during a transformative dark night experience. What made Rick's book so inspiring was that he did not stay in the dark night, but moved through it to "a more conscious manhood."

I dare you to put this book down (four stars), June 1, 2008
By Wendy Dennis (Toronto, ON Canada)

Rick Belden's collection of Iron Man poems is a moving journey into one man's heart of darkness. Belden's examination of the most covert reaches of the male soul is so raw and visceral, so heartbreakingly honest, sometimes I was tempted to look away. But he brings such insight and compassion to the task, averting my eyes was not an option. These brave poems taught me a lot about what it means to be a man. They also taught me a lot about what it means to be human.

An Excellent Resource (five stars), May 26, 2008
By Ross Rosenberg (Chicago)

As a psychotherapist who works with wounded men and male sex addicts, this book has been an invaluable resource to my practice. Mr Belden's poetry strikes a resonate cord for my clients whose childhood was marred by disappointment and emotionally restrictive relationships. The poem "Fused at the Wound" is brilliant and speaks to both men who are recovering from their wounds, but also to my female clients. I applaud Mr. Belden work that resulted into this book.

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed. LCPC

An honest, visceral and moving collection of poems (five stars), May 26, 2008
By J. Bottone (New York)

As a psychotherapist, I heartily recommend Iron Man Outing for men with histories of abuse and trauma as an honest and validating account of one man's struggle with his identity and relationships. Rick Belden has created a soul-bearing account of his life, and has brilliantly exposed the complexity of his emotional struggle towards healing and wholeness.

Iron Man Family Outing: An unflinching male journey (five stars), May 25, 2008
By Dr. Loren E. Pedersen

Rick Belden's collection of poetry is required reading for anyone interested in the deeper journey of men's consciousness. Rick's heart-rending poetic portrayal of his struggle as a man will sadden, anger, and yet, illuminate its reader. It identifies a rare "magnificent vulnerabilty," the vitally necessary quality men need to enter their psyche's darkest spaces in order to emerge stronger and more conscious.

A Poets and Therapists Review (five stars), May 23, 2008
By Melody Brooke "We are all doing the best we can" (Lewisville, Texas)

As a poet and author (Oh, WOW This changes everything) I am extremely critical of poetic attempts. Rick Beldens' book was a thrill for me,not only as an author and poet, but also as a practicing psychotherapist in the trauma field. His beautifully moving, heartfelt words express feelings that are often unexpressable. The reader is moved along with him through the pain and misery of the depths of despair any survivor goes through, then miraculously pulled through to a deeper understanding of what has occurred. His transitions into compassion for his parents, even his most horrible perpetrator are the mark of someone who has really done his work. He understands the Cycle of Compassion as described in my books quite throughly. This book is a gem that is a must read for anyone working with survivors.

Iron Man Family Outing (five stars), May 19, 2008

By Miles Groth (USA)

Rick Belden's 1990 sequence of poems in which he "outs" the tender, powerful relation between a father and his son is an important work of self-reflection, a record of gradual self-recognition, and a document of acceptance. Nearly every American male will find himself in the Iron Man (and if he doesn't, he should look more closely), whose heart has been broken and needs to wear heavy-duty protective armor. This allows him to be a hero to others, but the ever-boy under the iron is under no illusions about his vulnerability. The seven sections of the sequence end with but "Hints of Daylight," yet there is glimmer enough of hope in what Belden shares here, that I would recommend this book to every son (and all males are sons) and all fathers. The poems hit straight on. They are for the strong-hearted after all.

Iron Man Family Outing (four stars), May 17, 2008
By David Klow (Evanston, Illinois)

Belden's poetry touches poignantly on some important male archetypes. He openly struggles with matters close to men's hearts and boldly explores the relationships in his life, in particular the one with his father. It is a wonderful example of a man openly engaging in a process of healing himself. I have shared this book with my men's group and it has been a source of comfort in that we realize that we are not alone in the potentially overwhelming places which Belden brings to light.

David Klow, Marriage and Family Therapist, The Family Institute at Northwestern University.

Rick Belden speaks from his heart (five stars), May 14, 2008
By Martin Brossman (Raleigh, NC & Washington DC)

Rick Belden speaks from his heart about what is most important to men's life. It would be of equal interest to women to better understand the men in their lives. Poetry is a door way that many men have found to express their deepest experiences and Rick has done a great job of doing this."

Authenticity of experience beautifully rendered (five stars), March 14, 2008
By Elaine A. Palm

Richly imaged, precise, powerful poetry reverberates with the intensity of the writer's inner struggle between hope and despair, his physical and spiritual nature, his inner child and man. Childhood painful memories prompted by an emotionally distant father are presented with openness, candor, and an authenticity of experience that seizes the reader's heart and mind. This book is as emotionally evocative as it is spiritually revealing. While it recounts one man's personal journey to redemption, it speaks to the journey of every man and woman toward an all-encompassing spiritual transcendence that makes everything right, no matter what scale of demons, mistakes, or grievances populate their pasts.

Insight and wisdom in this underexplored area (five stars), February 10, 2008

By John Skandalis

After having read Rick Belden's Iron Man Family Outing I am struck by his unflinching honesty about his own life and the harshness of his upbringing. It struck a resonant cord in me and I believe for most men who have grown up with distant fathers. The illustrations deepened the emotional impact and gave a powerful visual element to the poetry. They incapsulated the author's struggle and growth throughout the book. I would highly recommend this book to any man or woman wanting to understand the struggles that are inherent in being male in our society. Rick's poetry explores how to be vunerable and strong and how to be honest and true to one's self in spite of the fear of judgement from others. His books affirms that redemption is possible when we see ourselves and our father's in a new, more compassionate light.

It will move you, please be prepared. (five stars), November 26, 2007

By Harold Smith "The Morris Center for healing from child abuse" (San Francisco, CA)

Raw, real, triggering, inspiring, poignant, brave. The book expresses the wisdom of the emotional genius child navigating his way through the insanity of love withheld. The dreams and stories are to ponder and meditate upon. It is rich with vivid word pictures of allegorical truths. It will move you. Please prepare some space in your life before reading this book. Create a support system of friends, family, and professional caregivers if possible. If you do not know how to create a support system, or you have isolated yourself from friends and family, please call a professional caregiver before reading this book.

More powerful than a locomotive! (five stars), October 24, 2007
By Wayne M. Levine (Oak Park, CA)

Courage. That's what it took for Rick Belden to bare his soul in this powerful collection of poetry. He writes in a language I understand, man-to man. It's the rare poem that can stop me in my tracks. But Rick's poetry--the entire collection--not only stopped me, it ran me over like a freight train. That may not sound so appealing. But the truth is, it sometimes takes that kind of power to push a man through his emotional barriers to connect with his heart, with his father's heart. I'll pass on this terrific book to my men at BetterMen.org. Thanks Rick.

From the heart to the heart (five stars), October 21, 2007
By Eric Denner "LMFT, LCDC" (Austin, TX)

Rick Belden's book of poetry touched me unexpectedly. I generally do not read poetry, but I could not stop reading this book, more than once. It is beautiful, personal, evocative, painful, and hopeful. It speaks from the heart to the heart. Rick's pain touched my pain and allowed me access to my feelings through his. Rick is articulate, literate, exquisitely sensitive, and profound. His book is a gift to anyone with feelings, pain, heartache, or loss. I have given it to all of my friends and colleagues, therapists and treatment programs, and to my therapist and men's group.

Wow. Such willingness to share (five stars), October 19, 2007

By Victoria V. (Austin, TX)

Rick Belden has clearly done the work of moving through the fallout of a wounded childhood to come out the other side, sharing his journey in poetry as sign-posts for other travelers. He lays open his heart and grants us to entry to a sacred space of healing private pain, loss, grief, anger. His poems unfold and unfold and unfold into depths of personal exploration and transformation, remaining accessible without becoming overwhelming. I could not stop reading, and felt myself open up in recognition of the path he has traveled. This is a book worth reading much more than once.

A journey towards healing (five stars), October 5, 2007
By Lisa Meacham (Austin, Texas United States)

This is a deeply personal and haunting account of the author's long journey from an abusive childhood toward healing. The poetry is raw, at times bleak, but also beautiful, powerful and ultimately hopeful. I felt honored to be allowed to share in such a personal and spiritual experience. Anyone, male or female, who is on a path toward healing and wholeness should read this book.

talented, sensitive and expressive (five stars), October 4, 2007
By Jacqueline Unitt "webmaster@everyman.org" (Ottawa, Canada)

Rick Belden has written poetry that touches us deeply. He expresses for many men the heartfelt emotions that they have experienced but never openly recognized. When I received this book I sat down with it expecting to read one or two poems. I didn't stop reading until I reached the end of the book. Rick is a talented, conscious writer who dares to share his innermost being. Thanks Rick.

Jacqueline (Jackie) Unitt

Moving (five stars), September 30, 2007
By Shelley Imholte (Austin, Texas)

Belden has taken my breath away with this compilation of poems. His work contradicts many of the deeply held stereotypes of men. He weaves the reader in and out of both tragedy and hope. His naked truth about his family, his relationships, his work, sex, and discovering himself will take the reader on a journey of intimacy, vulnerabilty, strength, and resilence. A true 'hero' is Belden for taking on such a challenge and rising above the things that haunt many of us. Thank you Rick!

Shelley Imholte, LMSW

Reader Reviews at Amazon UK

Plug in directly to men's hearts (five stars), 19 Aug 2009
By John M. Kennett

Iron Man family outing is not a work of poetic prose or psycho-babble self help. Instead, its contents come direct from the heart of a man who, like so many men, is seeking to make sense of the relationships he has with his father and mother, and the impact that this has on the relationships he tries to use to "fix" himself. The language is raw and will touch the readers heart with its cut-the-crap honesty.

The Marvel comic character, Iron Man, is a modern mythical representation of the way in which we hide our true masculine identities behind a mask of should's and aught's, anger and acceptability, acting out in relationships, and a use and abuse of our bodies in looking for gratification, acceptance and meaning through unhealthy sex.

Belden's book is a journey, from the screams from behind the safety of the Iron Man mask to the vulnerable freedom of mature masculinity.

Raw stuff (four stars), 8 Feb 2009
By J. R. Hawes (Nottingham, England)

This book of heartfelt, authentic and raw poems describes the reality of how complex family life is and how deep family systems run, making it difficult to leave home emotionally. Rick describes from a man's point of view the impact of emotionally illiterate parents and the shaming that many boys receive, especially from their fathers. This experience leaves boys sad, angry, confused, unloved, abandoned and with a sense of worthlessness.

Parents and men should read this book, it will take courage because it describes Rick's pain. This book is a gift to us, from a man who has clearly done much hard inner work to write these words.

Excellent book (five stars), 15 Dec 2008
By S. Bevan "Steve B" (Swindon, UK)

Rick's book tells a story of understanding, hope and discovery in his journey of healing and recovery. His honesty, feelings and insight allows you, the reader, to share how he takes this path of healing and by doing so with openness of how it affected him, it also shows that a child can survive and thrive to become the grown up man that he is now.

An excellent insight into a child's mind, as he deals with the trauma and pain of abuse. My thanks and regards to Rick for taking the time to write this.

Steve

Reader Reviews at "poetry, dreams, and the body"

A gripping reminder, February 8, 2009
By George Collins, M.A., Director, CompulsionSolutions.com

A gripping reminder, for many of us, of the incredible difficulty of dysfunctional family lifeespecially in regard to positive fathering. Boys watch their dads. Boys need their dads. Boys internalize the frustration and negativity of abusive or absent fathering.then, later, unconsciously turn that frustration and negativity on themselves and others. One can SEE this, compellingly, in Ricks clear struggle to BE who he REALLY isnot who he THOUGHT he was. Bravo (!) Rickfor such a candid and vulnerable sharing of the depth of your Self. Others will, undoubtedly, benefit from your courage.

George N. Collins, M.A., Director
CompulsionSolutions.com

A special issue, April 15th, 2009
By Graeme Daniels

Ricks heartfelt, thoughtful, and sometimes raw collection is finding good company upon my shelves; amongst Iron John by Bly, the collection Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart. There are many poems in Family Outing that I could draw attention to: recently, disconnected reminded me of how Ive felt walking down a street amongst a crowd, bumping a shoulder or two, feeling alone. The gift draws us to the character of the Iron Man: to nostalgia, to the melancholy of aging, the territories of men and women. It poses an oblique and provocative question for all men seeking strength in peace: how long does it take to respond to an attack. A special issue. Thanks Rick.

More Reviews

"This is a must-have text for professionals working therapeutically with men ..." by Daniel S. Saland, Psy.D.

"Resources I Love: Iron Man Family Outing" by Brian Rideout

"Time Passes but Nothing Is Lost: A Commentary on Rick Belden's Iron Man Family Outing" by Elaine Palm

"Rick Belden's searingly honest poetry" by Tim Baehr,  Menletter

"I would love to put a copy of this book into the hands of every male I know ..." at Healing & Recovery for Men, Gift From Within

"Powerful poems.  I recommend his book ..." at Midlife Wisdom for Men

"This is a very amazing book of poetry ... each poem powerful or tragic but full of hope ..." at isurvive.org

"... a rare opportunity to gain a new understanding ..." by Geoffrey Bullock

"Belden’s powerful series of poems pulls no punches ..." at 1in6

"Books Written For and About Men" by Kellen Von Houser

"Book of the Month (August 2009)" by Rebecca Lincoln

"A raw and powerful means of accessing the inaccessible ..." by John Kennett

"Rick’s book speaks to the damaged child in all of us ..." at Men's Well-Being

From the Back Cover of the Book

"On every page, a word, a phrase, a sentence shoots an arrow into your gut and jerks you down into your own anger and grief.  This collection of harrowing and healing poetry is the best volume of men's poetry I have read."